Getting Back Up | Beauty Portrait
Have you heard of illustrator and comic book artist, Gemma Correll? She creates some pretty funny and poignant pieces on mental health and menstruation. A few days ago she posted an illustration of a map of "ProcrastiNation". It's pretty brilliant because the map is essentially the map of my life! The day I created this piece, I was having a very good procrastination kind of day. I wasn't feeling up to anything except for snuggling my velvet sofa and watching Gilmore Girls.
I tend to tie my self worth to how I feel. So when I feel like crap, I feel like I am crap. On this particular day, because I wasn't motivated to work, I was feeling like I was a lazy person. These kind of negative thoughts then spiral out of control and I end up questioning myself as an artist. I just finished reading Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon. In his book, uses a quote by Jessica Hische where she says, "The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life." I was so discouraged to read that. More often that not, when I'm procrastinating, I'm watching tv or cleaning (both of which are locations on Gemma Correll's ProcrastiNation map). I guess that means I need to change my career. I allowed myself to rest and after one (and only one) episode of Gilmore Girls, I would give creating a chance. When painting this portrait, I had lost track of time. When I did take notice of the time, I didn't want to stop! I had gotten myself out of "ProcrastiNation"! I was so relieved and not just because I had gotten out of my funk, but I had created something I was proud of!
Jessica Hische's words seem to imply that one should make a career out of what comes to them naturally. I'm sure Jessica isn't ignorant to how creativity doesn't always easily flow for everyone. However, in this stage in my life, I guess I needed some validation that it is okay to feel how I feel and that creativity, although I desire it very much, doesn't always come when summoned. That's why I appreciate artist like Gemma Correll who's work unabashedly share the emotional and physical blocks one can experience in their life. And most recently, one of my favorite illustrators (and who I kinda decided is my mentor) Andy Miller admitted to having quit #the100dayproject. When I heard his confession I gasped, but in complete and total relief (listen to the episode here)! He goes on to confess that he too has bummer creative days. He shares this because he says not many artist who have "made it" talk about how they still struggle creatively. I pumped my hand in the air because I had noticed this as well. Because I've seen a lack of honesty and vulnerability in this subject, "making it" has always eluded this false sense of security. Andy then encourages me (because he was in fact just talking to me ;D) that you'll take many hits, but keep getting back up! Never stay down for the count.