So I've been in a funk since I returned from South Africa and moved into my new place. I've been home for almost three months and I've created more work in my three months in South Africa than I did in my three months back. For real, I am in a funk! I've never been so unmotivated to work! Anyone else feeling like this lately or who constantly battle to stay motivated? I can't seem to figure out why I rather watch Netflix than sit and think about painting and illustrating (oh let's be honest, who wouldn't want to watch TV instead of work...).
Okay, the deal is I don't think I'm in a lack of motivation kind of funk. My funk is the lack of confidence in myself as an artist. I'm really really tired of going through this rollercoaster of I like my work, I don't like my work. Anyone else on the same ride? I had a good flow going with my illustrations and just recently, I started to evaluate my work and decided to try more experimenting with the use of mix media. So I forced myself to get out of my comfort zone, and now I'm just abandoning everything I started (I have a growing stack of drawings that haven't known the acquaintance of paint)! I was doubting everything I was doing! Like the colors in this illustration were really freaking me out and I just stared at a color wheel for an hour making sure I got analogous down right. I have a really good art friend that I trust my entire art life with and I've been constantly berating him with questions about my work. Poor guy.
If there's one thing I know about being an artist, it's that you need good art friends who are willing to critique your work. It's puts you in a vulnerable position, but it's a very much needed process of art making. Plus, it helps your friend better their skill at critiquing art. Win win for the both of you! It was really good for me to question every mark I made on this piece. It made the process much slower than I'm use to, but I really want to be careful about being set in my ways with how I make art that I start creating on auto pilot instead of making thought out decisions about each mark. Does that make sense?
Other than learning the importance of critiques, I did learn so much from illustrating this beautiful Delpozo gown. I love using paper in my work. I decided to take a risk in tearing off the already glued down paper that breaks out of the bust of the gown, and the results were surprising. My goal with my illustrations from here on out is to build levels of texture. I loved what happened with the mix of paper, watercolor, and pastels on her right arm. That's definitely an element I want to implement more in my future work.